Movies and ghosts go hand in hand. Bollywood is a churning pot for ghostly sagas of all sizes, shapes and reasons. You put a woman into the huge bottomless pit, add step mothers, step fathers, step husbands, gorgeous white sarees, handsome boyfriends, kill off a couple of people, wear a hideous wig, sing a soulful song, haunt a tree and add an ancient civilization rebirth story for the mist effect bang in the middle of the forest. If there is an old palace on rent the better. The tree has to be banyan for sure for organic reasons.
Women, the epitome of sacrifice, love, cheating, separation, songs without orchestra on rolling fields etc become ghosts according to the moviedom. Like technology the undead also have grown and evolved with time and evolutionary changes in murder weapons.
Some ghosts also famous as chudails come decked in saris putting Ekta Kapoor fashions to shame. Some have leftover wigs from a Ramsey movie reused to suit the melodrama of the movie. The more the money louder the saree and yes, how can we forget the white hair, fangs and white claws. They reside under floors, in caves, on ceilings, under beds and yes cupboards and mirrors are their favorite pieces of furniture. Reflective ghosts reflect on their sordid pasts and also are seen reflecting in the mirror much against scientific logic.
There are singing ghosts, some very well known songs namely “aayega..aane wala” has been pictured on the member of the vanishing tribe. There is always a poignant reason a ghost takes birth or re-birth. It could be a cheating boyfriend, an unsolved murder or one sided love.
Love is the malaria of the ghost world. The love bug bites the person and then there is singing, dancing and running around trees, the same ones which will be haunted later and then sometimes dying and then rebirth.
Like BCCI manages cricket, Ramsey’s Corporation manage all things paranormal. The ghosts also market themselves into categories, the creamy layer appears in palaces, the middle class ones in old buildings, the ones living or ahem dead stuck on reservations appear homeless and in cemeteries.
Paranormal is normal no more. They have moved into franchises a la the Bhatt camp that has cracked the code to the netherworld where enamored beings can see unsavory souls who pop up after every song making us wonder if it is the soul of a musical entity.
If Ekta Kapoor made a horror movie, all ghosts would appear and disappear three times in quick succession and all David Dhawan ghosts would barely jump off the khatiyaa and would be pelvic-thrusting around the funeral pyre in circles.
If Ashutosh Gowariker decides to resurrect 5000 year old crossover souls then their story would be of an emotional soul stirring yarn of how a princess without horns falls in love with a Hrithik Roshan with horns set against the background of a drowning archaeological site.
New age souls and orbs can sing dance and romance and don’t need candles since humans have encroached that part of the world also and have lamp posts lighting up the place.
Ghosts go up or come up in smoke and don’t think they can make any sense of the cigarette trick by Thallaivaa Rajnikanth. Haunted beaches would now be a tourism rage with Priyanka planning to scorch the waters in Baywatch that is if Katrina has not done it already in her million dollar look from her recent outings.
Ghosts cannot be part of “Be(ing) Human”, so Salman cannot be approached for any promotional tours. Well the ghost of Mastani Deepika must be happy with the box-office collections of her untold story of pain, suffering and love literally set in stone while her Malhari is dancing around with his soldiers.
Shahrukh, who had close encounters of the weird kind in Om Shanti Om, would not be surprised to meet Alia Bhatt our famous well behaved Highway ghost, the ones who wear white sarees and ask for lifts from truck drivers, haunting specific national highways.
Aamir Khan would take up the matter of surrogate ghosts, NRI ghosts, ghosts cheated and abused by humans and discuss them on Sunday morning when the whole world would still be feeling like lost soul after a Saturday party.
Sunny Leone qualifies to open a spa for the gorgeous who wants to match her skin tone to her white saree complete with pink lips and she can be a partner with Kareena who is a brand ambassador for very red claws.
Media is hot on the trail and twitter war breaks out on @Follocelebs. Bollywood News would cover all the ghost pictures and videos on these encounters on YouTube – Follocelebs. By this time everyone would be left wondering if the person sitting next to them is a dead one and is masquerading as a human and FB – Follocelebs will be filled with pictures of encounters and the link shared few million times.
Once all this mayhem dies down and life returns to normal and all are saved for good comes the news that www.follo.in would be running special Halloween edition.
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